"Why?? Why does anything always have to mean something? Why do things which are equal to the same thing have to be equal to one another? Why were candy canes invented? To keep kiddies quiet during church. Looks like we've reached the point of dough return," the mercurial virtuoso said wryly with a smile not matching his eyes. "Do you believe in fairy tales, me boy-o? You know, legends with magical imps who appeared here and there, now and then, and incessantly made any premutation of obligatory kitsch such as shoes at midnight or spun gold from straw? Clamshell boxes and oversized cups made of styrofoam for hamburgers and powdered milkshakes that your 'rents used to get at the drive thru? Could be why you're here. You're welcome. Like leaves on a tree and blades of grass harvesting solar energy to photosynthesize carbon dioxide and water into a biological magic hat trick of sugar and oxygen, we conjured magnificent arts and crafts; but did those dime a dozen fleshies consumed by petty parochial concerns ever develop any rapprochement with the talent?"

Adherents flanking churning belts, turning gears, and plunging pistons like the inner workings of an enormous Rube Goldberg-like machine simultaneously stopped their work to answer unequivocally setting their whirling eyes on the boy, "Noooo!"

"That explains some stuff," La David ran full tilt through the candyland maze with the man in the bowler hat close behind at every juncture.

High above on an industrial catwalk two sugar dusted acolytes watched the events below. One dough puncher grabbed a rope as the other handed over a large sack of tapioca flour. The aerialist swung from the gantry to drop the heavy bag. It narrowly missed the kid crashing onto a table with sets of cutlery. Blades whistled through the air to skewer the man. La David curiously turned to look.

The vulpine grinning baker pulled out a forked utensil with nothing on it. "Came out clean... I must be done!" He split in half at his waist to shed the costume like a couple of brats stacked on top of each other trying to sneak into an R rated movie revealing two elves in luminous garments which were brighter than a blue moon. "Do you like this jacket? It really makes my eyes pop!" All the pastry makers followed suit bursting like seed pods to fill the cake foundry with a sea of pixies without an inch to spare.

The mysterious storyteller continued, "Blah, blah, blah, once upon a time off to the salt mines we went like bees pollinating a garden far from where they started; and I didn't want to come right out and say it, but like getting an underground zit on your nose the night before the big dance you were elected prom queen even though everyone knows queens aren't elected, those insatiable flesh-and-bones made it weird by hatching cockamamie schemes because they wanted more. Funny tidbit, when carving out some time for a passion project -- there's a certain look greedy-minded people get on their faces, a mixture of arrogance and stupidity when they think they can exploit our efforts that is the very hallmark which tells us we're on the right track. Seemed like communication broke down after we grew weary of coddling the thankless village idiots. It's like they thought our only reason for existence was to serve them so they never wrote or called. Our long game is to simply stall them out, run out their unsustainable clock and then dance on their graves, but heart wants what it wants and all that so for now we just wear these subway shirts and wander from cookie-cutter town to town creating the gold standard of whatever suits our whims until another distraction catches our peepers!" Its eyeballs jumped from their sockets and spun wildly.

The transitory guild of world-forsakers began to caper in joyous exaltation as if immune to logic. "Well, the toothpaste is out of the tube. Is it too much?" the highbrow maestro asked. "We can never tell. Okay, good chat. What are you going to ask Santa for Christmas? 30 dolls? You know sweets rot your teeth, right?"

La David flashed a gap-toothed smile. "Well, some are still baby teeth so..."

"Don't get me started about the Tooth Fairy!"

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